My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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