I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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