It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
