how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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