By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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