So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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