you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
