I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
