Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
