I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
