Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
