Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
