Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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