i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
