you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
