awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
