just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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