At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
