once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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