it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
