jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you win again, gameday.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
