You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
