Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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