No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
