Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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