So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
