Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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