he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
