David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
