On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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