i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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