Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize