I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
