she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
