She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
