did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
