dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
nutella sex= disaster
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize