I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
