idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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