At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize