You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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