and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
