dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
are you so shy because you have an std?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
These tits shall not be calmed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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