just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
