omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
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I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
And then he peed in my hair
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