It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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