Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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