She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize