Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
