I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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