You work out of a Hotel?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
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I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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