Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
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We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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