My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
