...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
