I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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