Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
