Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
