Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
