he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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