the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize