She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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