Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
