Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
