i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
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I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
my poor anus
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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