We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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