9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
