we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
this hospital has no fireball
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
