So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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