Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
